Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Senseless venting.

Well yesterday I couldn't blog. I'm gonna try and set my phone up for it but they said if I put my number in to TEXT my blog, it'd give me a whole different account! So I'm going to get ahold of one of my friends that's done this and see what to do.

Anyway, I've kinda noticed that on comments I get really nice comments on my blog! Thank ya'll for everything. But please take note that this blog is not about like "celebrity" life ( unless I'm having a bad day, then I will vent all OVER that!). So YES, I do LOVE your comments but HERE I'd love to read "Oh I relate to that!" and hear YOUR story or something, ya know? Not so much "I'm your biggest fan!" even if that DOES make my day completely, I just really want to be related to here. Cause there WILL be a lot of negative!

On to my day.
Yesterday, I was at rehearsal, and I was hanging out with the same friend that went through my phone. It was smart, that he didn't bring it up. I didn't either. We let it slide, and I'm almost positive it's over now. I don't "hold" grudges. I let it go pretty fast unless it's something that absolutely kills me. So we're all good now! I was so tired. I didn't sleep at ALL the night before, being up with friends and stuff. So I was so tired, I was laying in the MIDDLE of my rehearsal stage, band playing, singing. Laying flat on my back, singing in rehearsal, while ( secretly) trying to fall asleep. Which I did. And as soon as I did, Ashlee Nino ( one of my bestest friends/dancers) YANKED me off of the hitch and let me fall. So I woke up in a HORRIBLE mood. Not because OF her, but because I fell asleep in the first place. I wanted to stay awake so I could sleep early last night. Didn't happen.

Well yesterday, my stress level was SO high! I didn't even notice that it was stress. I thought it was just because I woke up a little late at rehearsal ( which I don't need to be sleeping at! I have tour SO SOON!) but at first, when I woke up I was at SUCH a high stress level.

I was literally crying if someone made something the least bit difficult. Mom asked me to do something? "UGH!"
I almost got grounded twice because I had SUCH a bad attitude. I didn't want anyone talking to me, anywhere near me and ESPECIALLY messing things up. I was trying not to cry, and making excuses of WHY I was crying considering I didn't know.
I was yelling and snapping at people, it was horrible.

I am so blessed, because I have the best people in my life. The ones that can SEE the big "MILEY'S STRESSING, RUN AWAY" tattoo'd across my forehead at those times. So they did. Today I'm MUCH better. After about an hour last night I was okay. And I calmed down.

But stress has been taking over my life lately! I need to really focus on the GOOD things Not the stressful things. That will get me NO WHERE and I know that. So I'm trying!

My mama is one of those MOm's that never stops talking. Now my Mom is my best friend, but it's ALWAYS. "So guess what happened," "So yesterday," "So Miley guess what," and she talks about everything. Of course me, being a TALKER, appreciates it! But we get into these bickering things and we start argueing and it's HORRIBLE. I almost got in SO MUCH trouble last night because we were fighting SO bad, and it was over something so stupid.

She called my Dad, he told me I better stop ( which doesn't do ANYTHING. He's the push over parent! Ha.) and eventually I just gave in cause I was so annoyed and she almost locked me in a closet. And I don't want to sit in a closet for hours. And no, not MY closet. The hall closet. Which is about as small as I am. Ha.

Braison ( brudder) recently went through a HUGE break up with his ex Zoey. I love that girl to death, but now they're avoiding eachother and I never see her anymore ( "anymore" being the 4 days they've been over.) and I know he's stressed, and he's an emo ( HA!) so that doesn't help. I wuvv him though, and he is actually going to try and spend some time with me tonight after rehearsal! For a couple days he's been with friends and stuff, and staying with my sister Brandi in her new place. So we've been apart. We're not the "strongest" siblings. If I'm closer to any, it'd be Brandi or Noah. Probably Brandi because she relates to me SO much! But we all get along SUPER well.

I have Trace, who is SUPER protective and "hates" every boy that hurts me. Unless the boy makes it up, it usually stays in the "hate" factor. ( Trace doesn't "hate" anyone, he just likes to believe he's the cool guy who can... but he can't. he has a big heart!)
I have Brandi, who is older than me but she's BEEN through most of what ( teenage wise) I'm going through. And her and Sam ( boyfriend) are totally what I want to be at her age with someone! They are SO in love! And they make it through everything. And I can't wait to find a guy that TRULY does that for me. I thought I had a few months ago, but I was wrong. =]
I have Braison, who is probably the most distant sibling, but we're closest in age. Which means we fight WAY more. And we're deff going through the same things in the "teenage years" so we stress together and relate to eachother more, BUT we don't talk enough to know it. He came to New York with me recently and that was SO good for us! We actually sat down and had a conversation. I don't think I EVER noticed how much he's GROWN. I consider myself "pretty" mature. Maybe not completely, but I can have a conversation. And he can too! I didn't know how strong his moral value was. He's such a good person, at heart.
And then little Noah, who is the only person I know that can never TRULY stay angry with me. She's there for me through everything and ALWAYS has a smile. She's such an angel.

I have the best family, I just need to really work on bonding with them more. I've been spending a lot more time with Noah, but I think she only does that cause she's still in the "I wanna be JUST like Miles when I get older!" thing. That'll pass. Hopefully. Ha!

It's so hard to wake up, and notice that, EVEN if it's been like it for almost 2 years... there are only 3 kids left in the house. Me, Braison, and Noah. Trace and Brandi have grown so quickly and that scares me....

ANYWAY, I'm at rehearsal so I need to make my time worth it!

Yesterday, I felt REALLY bad. I was tired and everything. And for the first time, since last January I comlpetely drowned it in eyeliner before I left rehearsal! Ha. I put SO MUCH make-up on, and it made me feel a LOT better. =) we'll see how long THAT lasts.

Anyway, working super hard... this is senseless. I am making no sense of this blog. No point. So I think I'm gonna end it now before I make a fool of myself! Ha.

P.S. Last night before going home I stopped and I was outside on this little ledge thing in LA and people play music there. Well, I had my friend lend me their guitar and sat and sang "Drops of Jupiter". That is SUCH an obsession ofa song for me right now!! I LOVE it. I am SO nervous infront of little crowds..

Big crowds, ROCK my world. But little crowds I feel so judged and each individual person thinks something different and OMG. Ha. I was really nervous but it went well and I still LOVE that song.

Anyway, I love ya'll. Thanks for reading, again. Even though this had NO point! I'm getting yelled at by Mama, I gotta go rehearse some more =P

Love always, MC <3

18 comments:

  1. hey miley. i just wanted to say that you and your music are beautiful. your songs (and stand duet with your dad) have helped me through so much- death, love and losing my house and all my memories along with it. thank you, for everything. love, g xxx

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  3. hey M :)

    i have been so streesed for the last week and snapping at everyone,i mean everyone ! i was so worrid about going back to school then i was stressed that i was streesed really a big circle.
    and this morning it all went and when i went into school it was worth it to see my friends again . thats what it may be for you you get rewarded by the fans on tour :)

    jess

    p.s 1st lesson i was standing outside a class were i thought i was supposedto be but thought it was strange as no one was there, turns out they forgot a leter on my timetable so i was at s1 and mwas supposed to be at Bs1 (WHICH iS AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCHOOL )>:( i looked like a lemon 15 minutes late to class . haha

    sometimes the stress is worth it as good things can come out of it in the end :)

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  4. you say u have no point in this blog?
    i think its full of different points:)

    family is the MOST important thing in my life.i have two sisters..older and younger.. and believe me i know its weird if the older one moves out.. at first, it took me so long to get used to it. i all the time waited her home..now im sure used to it. i was a bit scared that after she moved out maybe we wouldnt be that close anymore..but i must say we are even closer.she calls me all the time and we can see each other all the time. love her. big sisters rock!:D i have heard lots of my friends talking that they dont get well with their siblings..but in my fam everybody gets well SO well. sure i get mad at my younger sis sometimes(when she wears my clothes without asking..or WORSE: she lends my clothes to her friends!!). and sure whenever i look for my fav shirt its on her closet!. but other than that she's a great sis:D your Noah is younger that my sis. and i hope your sis will respect u more and will ask u first if she wants to use ur stuff! haha. good luck with that:D

    and omg. im thinking the EXACT way abt my sis&her bf. they are soo in love and GOSH sometimes i think i'll never find a guy who likes me like my sister's bf lives her. its just beautiful to watch!haha
    but, Miles, im sureee one day u'll find ur prince charming who respects u and loves u as you are! we gotta believe that we all have a prince out somewhere. but who tells ur where he is?huh?!

    wow.u have a fight(arguments) with ur mom?
    i dont have that often.but when i do i feel SO COMPLITELY bad abt it. i donno why. once we had an argument and then i left and decided not to talk to her at all.. but then later i felt so bad. coz i was scared she might think i dont love her or sth(i know that's totally stupid, but still). i once were in a church and one singer there told that we should every day show our feelings to the ones we love coz you never know wt can happen..and u dont wanna regret later that u have left things unsaid..
    maybe im just a person who cant be angry or mad at somebody. like, i have never ever had a fight with any of my friends. i dont wanna say im a "good" person, but i just know ppl have different views and if me and my friend argue i always stick to my point, but i also respect her aspect of this(though i know its SO not right.lol).
    anyway, i didnt wanna have a lecture here..but u gotta understand.today was my second day in college and i had a lecture that was 3 hours long. try to sit and listen 3 hours:S:S:S horrible! the lecture was abt sociology f.y.i :P

    okay. well, hope u'll gotta sleep. and if u cant drink a tea with lots of sugar and put ur socks on and start counting sheep who leap over fence. trust me it should help ;);)

    good night =]

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  5. i love how we can relate a lot more than other people, i know you don't know me but, its awesome how much we relate, like you and your mom, I am closer with my mom than my dad, even tho i LOVE him! but my mom and i get into bickering fights. But when i look the fights over, i think it was so silly of what we were fighting about. And your siblings, my sister is 20 and i am 15(almost 16)..and we fight SOO much, but really sense shes gone of to college, we don't fight as much. We still fight but not as much..and about the maturity thing, i am always told i am mature for my age. But sometimes i wonder if its really true..i don't even know.

    and about the whole make up thing. I always feel better when i put make up on, but lately i haven't really worn make up and when i put it on for the first time (sense like 3 weeks) like 3 days ago i was like WAHHOOO! hahah, i looked so different, but i just wanted to say that your beautiful inside and out, even without make up :) i like natural looks on you :)

    and about the stress, AHHH it happens to me all the time, when i am stressed out i don't want ANYONE to talk to me, i hate it. cause ill get really mad at them for no reason. my moms always like WHAT IN THE WORLDD! soo i try to keep the stress down, but with school i always have stress. and i am the type to be leftt allonee! dont try to come up to me and start a convo cause it wont go so well, and if someone doesnt do something the way i do it it doestturn out right..thats not in a selfish wayy i promisse :)

    kk
    love you
    mary :)

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  6. At first: I love this blog. It really makes me feel better. sounds a way selfish?! But anyway, it really makes me see that there's someone who's definetely feeling the same ways.
    I have three sisters. Two are older and one is younger. I love them all honestly, but it's true that you can trust and talk better to the younger one's because they didn't go through as much as I (we) did. They are more honest. They say what's on their mind and don't tell any lies like those old people.
    I wish I was still a child. It felt so careless and free. I miss it.
    But we all have to grow up =]
    I'm just here to tell you there's someone who's thinking the same way.. even if we're such different persons.
    Just keep smiling. Life's too short :)

    I really feel closer to you now.
    Sounds so weird haha. But just wanted to say.

    XOXO

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  7. Hey Miley

    I have been stressed out latley my parents got a divorce three days ago it hard for me and I have been thinking about suicidal. I am closer to my mom than my dad, my dad and I would always fight about stupid stuff I only see my dad on sundays and I want to spend more time with him but I don't think he wants to. My sister is 23 my brother is 12 and I'm 20 my brother and I would always fight but my sister and I get along pretty well. MY sister only comes home for the holiday and when she's home she is always spending time with her friends I wish that my brother and I would just get along. Yesterday I was in a bad mood and I didn't want anyone talking to me so I locked myself in my room for about 2-3 hours I really feel closer to you know your songs inspire me sooo much and I love reading your blogs. Sometime I don't feel like talking about how I feel so I stay quite but I would tell you how I'm feeling becuase you would know what I'm going through.

    Love You
    Kayla :)

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  8. I know what ya mean. I get in these bickering fights with my mom and it's not pretty. It's ALWAYS over something SO stupid. I hate that! And my dad is the "push-over" parent too, lol.

    My little brother and I are kinda distant but it a way we're getting closer as we both grow, but I wish that I had one or two more siblings. Like a sister. Life would have been a little different, but whatevs, what you're stuck with, you're stuck with.

    Overall, cute entry. (Even if it's pointless.) =]

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  9. hey miles,
    that tattoo on your forehead sounds really familiar lol kinda like mine, except mine is a bit more forward (EFF OFF! I BITE). i know where you are coming from family wise though. im the baby of 5 kids (1boy,4girls) and im only really close to one of them. i love them all but there is just never any bonding. i think its simply because we all have age differences and live too far apart to ever try to get to know eachother. its so weird knowing there is someone out there that you share blood with and yet you barely know them and only speak to them maybe once a year on their birthday. fighting with parents is like a daily routine for me so i can totally see where you are coming from with that. i think mine just find it hard to accept im 18 and im doing everthing on my own now. still love them though.

    Anyways thanks for sharing and dont ever call what you feel the need to express pointless,especially if it makes you feel better.

    xoxo

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  10. Hey Mileyyy.

    Your blog made me realize we have a lot in common, although you don't know me or anything. I have an older brotherr who annoys the living crap out of me, he is like 19 and still acts like he's three. He thinks its funny to slam me into a wall, and now im only 16. and he's very very mean to me. I'm a lot closer to my mom in a way, but we fight a LOT. mostly over stupid stuff, that we look back on and realize, it was very stupid and weird. I'm not gonna name names, but obviously you've had relationships. maybe this will help you.

    I've had a similar situation. I thought I loved someone until I realized that the person I had loved all along, was still waiting for me.. but by the time I realized I couldn't be everything to him,I lost him. Now, he's 17, and he is very into school, and his family, and I came second to him, and I wanted more than anything to be the most important thing to him. But, I broke up with him, it was mutual, he loved me, I loved him.. but, he knew I deserved better. My advice to you is : You can't always have what you want, but what you want is what you deserve. If you love one person, you should be with them, no matter what obstacle. It really teaches you things about trust, and if you have the trust and everything, the relationship isnt going anywhere.

    Go for him, if you love him. Again, not naming names, but if you wrote a song, one that really inspires me with the kid you once loved/love... then, doesn't that mean something?

    Again, this is just what I see from your tweets, and I'm deff NOT assuming anything, but just saying :)

    Love you Miley!
    Your amazing.

    Dont ever fall down, the haters would love to see it happen.

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  11. Hey Miley (:

    So I'm 17 years old.
    And honestly, other than the fame and rehearsals (lol), I have all the exact same problems as you.

    I mean I have such an amazing family and I try to maintain the best relationships with them as I can, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.

    When I'm stressed, I get a reaaaally bad attitude with both of my parents and that's NEVER good. I feel really bad about it but sometimes it's so difficult not to just snap and say how I feel without thinking first.

    That's my biggest problem. You have no idea HOW many times I've been in trouble because of my attitude. It's insane. But I honestly have the best family. Me and my mom are super close but sometimes I wish she was more like your mom! My mom isn't very "cool" in the sense that she believes being a mom is her "job" and she's not supposed to be my best friend. Sometimes I really wish she could be the mom who always has something new and exciting to tell me and dances to music and actually has fun. But she's not. Haha i'm sooo grateful for her anyways tho.

    I also have 2 sisters. 1 is 25 and one is turning 18 in 2 months (she's my stepsis), but neither live with me. The 25 year old, April, lives with her bf. And Danielle, my other sis, lives with her mom. Danielle and I are BEST friends tho. We really don't fight even though we're so close in age. However, I never see her so there's really no reason to. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years and it sucks SOOOO bad. We live in Hawaii and she lives in Nevada and plane tickets are soo expensive. But I'm moving to Cali soon, so I'm stoked!!

    Haha k this is getting kinda long. Everyone makes mistakes, we just gotta make sure we learn from them..

    I love you Miley! Stay strong bby.
    <3

    -Kali.

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  12. Hi Miley! I've followed you in so many places, me and my daughter. I'm actually a mom fan - surprise!! But, don't let that fool you, I'm a *cool* mom and I absolutely adore you and the age you and all your friends are at right now. Your blogs make me want to laugh and cry all at the same time. My daughter, who turns 12 in Oct, is a very mature 12 (looks and acts more like 16 really), but she is just beginning to enter into the world of boys, etc. She just began middle school a month ago. She is doing well so far, but she does like the guys - I tell ya! But, back to you for a minute - I just want to say that as a mom representative of what I see out there, in the real world, in the celeb world, etc., that you are one of the best of the best. Oh, you've had your growing pains (the VF pic, the leaked phone pics, the "pole dance", etc, etc.) but I can see past all that as a teenager finding her way. You are a true heart Miley. That's what sets you apart from many others. You *aren't* perfect, you dare to be *real* - that's the magic mix that even nonfollowers cannot deny - you are fearless in your belief of self, but more than that - you are a student of the world and a child of God. This is transparent and what shines through and what makes you able to come out on top. If you keep things somewhat on the straight-and-narrow path (don't go over too too much) you can still push your own personal envelope a bit and be that leader that you are. (continued in a second post)

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  13. (cont from last post)...Anyway, I just want you to know that from the viewpoint of a genuine, older, MOM fan - you are pretty darn OK in my book - better than that, you are amazing Miley Ray Cyrus. My daughter kinda thinks so too, but right now she's talking to her friend on the phone about another boy - ooff! You keep being the best SELF you can be, and also - you mentioned your periods are irregular. I had that all the way through my teens and 20's. Ended up being I was diagnosed with POD (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which made me infertile for years. My husband and I were childless for 17 yrs. before we tried in-vitro fertilization and were miraculously blessed with our twins (Simon/Esther) in 1997. Then, their younger brother came along *naturally* 2 years later. Now we have our much-longed for family of 3 children. But, point I was trying to make, is don't neglect your gynecological health at all - even though it can be a REAL pain in the butt (sorry for the pun). I too was on BC to regulate periods for several years. Just keep an eye on things, ok? Also, have you or your mom/doctor thought of trying a natural sleep aid like Melatonin or something along those lines? I sincerely hope you can strike a regular pattern of sleep soon Miley (sorry to be sounding like a mom here, now). Sleep deprivation can have a cumulative effect that can bring down your entire state of health if left out of whack for too long, as in months or years. Your body seems to be handling it well, your eyes seem bright, hair shiny (again, sorry to sound like an animal description here lol) but please ask your doctor and mom if something more can be done. I say this as a friend of a friend - truly. I care about you, truly. Well, I feel as if *I've* used your blog to vent as well. It is sooo hard to read your tweets and such and *not* be able to speak back to you!! I feel like you are my daughter's friend that I can hang out with and talk to! I have an excellent, close relationship w/ my daughter (much like you/your moms seems to me to be) and I love talking with her and her friends about "stuff" when I can get them to sit down long enough to listen to me! (lol!) I remember so well being 16, I love all you girls there right now and wish only the best for you all. I sincerely hope you can continue this blogging for a while before the paps (Oceanup), etc sniff it out. I would imagine they would put it to the world if they got wind of it. But for now, thank you so much for sharing yourself with your fans, and if the venting helps you personally, so much the better. You stay sweet Miley and take care of yourself. I'm Gina from St. Peters (luvmuch2 on twitter), and my daughter is Esther. We're from your pal, Paige's, stomping grounds. I see that she's here in "The Lou" too. I've twittered her a few times, although we don't know eachother. She seems so sweet, as do all your gang. Ok, gotta go. See you at your concert here in St. Lou on Oct. 4!!! We're so looking forward to it. But, promise you won't bust your butt getting ready too hard. We'd all love you if you truly just laid on the floor and sang to us Miley! Maybe you should incorporate that in one of your songs - :o) Take care and love you lots!

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  14. Hey miley
    I totally agree with u
    I know how it feels to be woken up by someone and u just wanna sleep
    it happens to me everyafternoon and morning!
    Everytime my nanny will wake me up to go to school to or to tell me to eat already or simply that we are already at home I'd ne in such a bad mood
    I don't know why
    eer since yet noticed that they always tried to wale me up gently or by playing ur songs so that I won't get up insuch a bad mood
    especially when I'm stressed out!
    Even my doctor told me that I'm too stressed ot that's why she gave me a stress ball
    so she also told me to just listen to songs that calmed me down and it did
    I always listen to ur songs to calm me!
    u should try it
    u seem to be practicing and rehearsing so hard for ur tour
    actually dd that last week coz we had a presentation and out class always wants to our best
    so we had to stay in school until nighttime and all we did was rehearse
    but it did pay off our adviser was so proud of us
    I know that whatever u do ur parents are so proud
    I actaully have an older brother
    but it's kinda weird people think we are twins since we are just 11 months apart!
    We fight all the time!
    But he is always there when I need to talk to someone and we depend on each other coz we have no other siblings
    good luck on ur tour
    have a great rehearsal
    get some real ok!
    U r the best
    continue to do what u do coz it's not only u becomes happy but I have changed so many people's lives
    u give us hope
    I know you'll have one of the beat tours the world will ever see
    ur fans r always here to support u and so is ur fam
    i know how important they r to u
    stay healthy (my dad always tells this to me =])
    btw tnx for the shoutout during ur chatzy the other day, monday
    xoxo
    shannen :)

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  15. Hey! :) You're not the only one who likes to vent on blogs! I do too! Coz..Like..I don't like getting mad at people. I don't want to hurt them when I take out all my anger on them..so I just vent on my blog. It kinda makes me feel a little better. Like..I hate it when I get in the crappy mood when you feel like everyone's depending on you. And everyone's telling you to do this and that and they keep telling you that what you did was wrong and BLAHBLAHBLAH. I hate it when I get to the point that I just get so upset and annoyed I just wanna lock myself in a room and cry. I try not to but whatever.
    There was this one time when my friend borrowed my phone. I didn't know. After a few hours, she told me she borrowed it. So I was like..trying not to be mad..coz she didn't ask for permission to borrow it or whatever. Then I asked her where it was now.then she suddenly snapped at me and was like "How should I know where your phone is? It's your phone. You should know where it is!!" And she like snapped at me and I really got pissed because I really needed my phone at that time..and I was really busy with school and multitasking and stuff at that time..and she just snaps at me. It's so freakin annoying.

    Anyway. I have a stepsis. Though she's like married already. 28 or something? I forgot. We don't get to see each other much anymore. :( OH well. But I still love her.

    I wish I could go to one of your concerts like..It'd mean the world to me. Like I've been a fan..since the show started. And I like Miley music more than Hannah. So yeah. Hannah is whatever. but Miley is so much more. (sorry Disney) =)) HAHA! :D

    Like..I'm way on the other side of the world..and I hope you get to do a concert in the Philippines. Or maybe even in like Singapore or Malaysia. Coz I'd totally fly to Singapore just to see you in concert. Like..it sounds cheesy. But you've been an inspiration to a lot of people...Including me.

    Like..before I was this shy kid..but when Disney came up with HSM. I suddenly like..became a little less shy and started to be like..more talkative in school..then when HM came..my mom couldn't shut me up anymore. LOL. SO yeah!

    Good luck with the tour! :D

    Have fun.and yeah. Whatever. :D

    love lots,
    kate

    P.S. Check this out http://mileycyrusph.at.tp

    I'm like..one of the "admins" there..so I'm told. =)) It's the Miley Philippines site. :D

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  16. Hey :)... I just love to read your blogs. It makes me feel closer to you, and understand much more than I does before.

    I know how is to have one of that days when you are stressed and you don't know why. When you wanna cry, yell and make everything dissapear. Just yesterday I had one of that days, and my mom yelled at me at the phone and told me to not do this, not do that and I started to yell at my little sister, and after this, to cry without a reason. I hate crying in front of my family; this is the thing I hate the most. But they didn't left me alone, and it didn't helped me. But just like you, now I`m ok.

    I read and I understand that you have a great and big family. I`m glad to know that.I would love it too, but unfortunately I have just a little sister [ who makes me yell everyday]. But anyway, I guess I couldn't live without her.

    I wish you luck on your tour, and I will wait to see videos on youtube. I bet it will be great.

    Have fun and enjoy it!

    - Aida -

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  17. hey i understand why u dont people to say their huge fans and its kl that ur brave enough to broadcast that which also proves u have a big heart like your brother, everyone gets stressed and im just l1 year older than you are so keep em coming i always read them and never get bored of reading them in fact i dont know how u can write so much without running out of words to say your good

    anyway keep smiling

    much love john C

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  18. hahaah. same as me Miles. when Im that stress, people will eventually run away from me, maybe because they had bad experience with me when Im in stress mode.

    btw, love about the family part. i have a small brother, i'm 16 and hes 9. hes like the little baby of the family. my sister, who is 18, is going to leave home to study in dentistry. sometimes i felt bad for my lil brother that has no one else in the house to play with except for his annoying sister. we dont bond quite well. maybe i have to figure out something.

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I am experiencing new things, I am learning new lessons, I am living my life.