Sunday, October 11, 2009

my smile never left me... it's just hiding.

I was thinking today, and it wasn't a normal day for me. Today has been so humble. It's just in the air.. it's one of those days you wanna wrap up in a big hoodie, and go home to gramma's cookin'. And I was sitting outside, no one was with me just out in Tulsa, haha. And I was thinking.. my old "smile".

Last night during my show me and Trace, my brother, gotta sing Hovering for the first time on stage. And I was thinking.. I remember singing and having the biggest, truest smile on my face. And it hit me.. I might not smile ALL THE TIME, like I did back in the day that i HAD my "smile".. but on stage, I do. I never realized that on stage, my smiles are the most real they can get. They are the truest smiles I have. So much so that I don't even realize I'm smiling half the time, my heart takes over my face, HA! ( THat's an ORIGINAL Miley quote, feel free to use. "My heart takes over my face when I smile!" - Miley Cyrus. ;) and it's just wonderful because I didn't think I had it anymore.

My truest smile, I remember back in 2007 things were perfect. PERFECT. I had everything I ever needed, I had everyone I needed, and no one hated me. There was no "Anti Miley" there was no "I HATE MILEY CYRUS" crap. There wasn't BAD rumors, there wasn't anything like that.. people actually LIKED me, HA! (Although I'm half tempted to go to Perez Hilton 2007 and check, cause I'm sure he hated me back then too!)And I smiled. I was happy ALL the time.. there was NO bringing me down. I was HAPPY.

And now I realize, when I'm on stage, I'm THAT person. My heart is back in 2007, my mind is in the music and my passion, my drive, my LOVE for life is THERE. It's on fire and it's happy and it's energy and just.. embracing me. I look out at those fans faces, and I just notice how truly blessed I am. Because I truly am. Right now... my heart is so happy. I honestly can't stop smiling. And I laugh, because those people "hating" me, obsessing, trying to make my life hell, it's funny. Because I'm still THIS happy, THIS at peace.

It's true, for a while I was living for blogs. I was living for rumors. I was living for gossip sites. ANd now I'm living for me, and it's made me my happiest. I feel like I'm in 2007 again.
No.. scratch that, I feel like I'm as happy as I used to be, but with more knowledge, more FEELING toward it. I'm HAPPY.

I want everyone to read that, understand it, and don't think it's a "mask" or whatever... I. AM. HAPPY... TRULY HAPPY.

And it's the best feeling in the WORLD. I don't even know what to type anymore because it's honestly just indescribable how happy and amazed I am at how much GOD can do for me.

I am so blessed to have the friends I have that hold my hand and stay with me so long. Mandy, Demi, Paige, Nick, Cory, Ashley (TheHeartOfMiley), Ashley T, Ashlee Nino, all of my amazing dance friensd, Denika, Scott, Mitchel, just.. everyone. They're absolutely SO amazing to me and I'm just beyond blessed. Karina! Lanie! just all of them.
I don't CARE about people saying "Oh no, you're not blah blah blah", it's not true. I'm done living for people like that.

I was talking to Ash (THOM) yesterday, and we were talking about a specific person and she was like "UGH! They're SO annoying!" ( and duh I was too) and I just stopped and was like "I don't even care. If they want to spend their life hunting me down and trying to make my life hell, let them." because it's HAPPINESS for me to knwo that Im' not living for that, I'm BEYOND that, I'm ABOVE that. If you wanna hate on me, if you wanna try and waste your life hurting mine, BE MY GUEST. Because ten years from now, looking back I'M not gonna be the one going "Man! I wish I was doing something to better myself while I was trying to bring her down!" because you probably won't even HEAR about me anymore at that point. You will do NOTHIGN to me, and my life will turn out AMAZING and I will be HAPPY, and you'll be regretting it.

Last night I was in a funk, just for about 20 minutes. And I was just like "What if this doesn't work.. what if I'm alone forever. What if I become nothing." and I know that's not true. I live through GOD, in his light and in his path and he'd never let me be unhappy. And Im' not. And I have faith in that. And I am not afraid, whatsoever, of the future.

2007.. is just a chapter in the story of my life. A huge one of course, and one I'll never regret, and never forget.. but it's just a chapter. And later in life, I can read back on it.. and maybe a few people from that chapter will be with me to look back on it too. But until then I'm just taking it step by step, enjoying everything and every moment. Whether I'm "tweeting" it.. or not.

I am happy. I am dreaming. I am loving. I am in FAITH.

My smile might not come out in paparatzi shots. It might not be in gossip magazine pictures. It might not be in my "emo quotes", it might not be even behind closed doors... but my smile IS in my music. It's in my performance. It's in my PASSION, my DREAM, my LIFE. My love.

I'm not living for people, I'm not living for anyone but myself and GOD. And I love it.
I'm HAPPY.

And to a specific person, that probably will never read this, thank you. For making me who I am, for loving me, for making me smile when I didn't think I had it in me anymore. For making me love you. For making me believe in myself, and for making me believe I can do anything. And for always, ALWAYS, catching me when I fall. I love you.

Thank you to everyone for reading, and if you don't like this blog... suck it. =]

I'm going to bed SMILING tonight, and I hope you all do too.

Blessings,
Miley

23 comments:

  1. You can always find what you had when you let the storm calm and then start looking.

    Im soo happy to know you've get to that point and you didnt let the storm destroy you but you're getting the best out of it.

    "My heart takes over my face when I smile!"

    God bless you Miles

    ReplyDelete
  2. Every single time I read your blogs my heart is touched and encouraged. I believe that you have so much to share with young people, if they could just listen to you for even a moment. It might just change the way they think about themselves. thanks for sharing a piece of your heart. I am a youth outreach pastor from Canada and I think the world of you! God Bless you Miley! You are making a difference!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I looooveeeee you! Miley you have such a precious heart! Your SMILE is precious! It has always been with you. Your name was derived FROM [Smile]y, so it's bound to be with you forever!

    "The art of life smears onto the pages of a book still unwritten. The heart that beats as time goes on, becomes obsolete allowing mind to take over. Trust it, trust the heart and let it guide you to your destiny." -ME

    That is one of the best lines i have ever written and every time i say it in my head it reminds me of you! Your life has just begun, you are SO young with SO much ahead in life for you. Yeah that convo we had last night, its the end of haters, its the end of posers, its the end of every negative thing that could ever try and bring you down.

    That part of your life is over. they can TRY their dang hardest to try and get to you, but they wont succeed. Remember that poem i had written a while back? It said:

    "Into your negativity I will not feed
    Cause I’m not a follower, baby I lead." -ME

    thats a good quote to live by! Whoop! To end my long novel, i think you've reached a point in your life where it's all gonna go uphill from here. There's no looking back or side to side, simply forward. I love you SOO much! You're an amazing friend. God bless!

    <33 Ashley [aka The Heart Of Miley]

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMGGG!!!! I just deleted my WHOLE comment and had to start over..it was SOOO long :'-( SO...lemme me attmept AGAIN.

    UGHHH MILEYYY!!! i swear its not normal for someone to care as much about a friend as I do for YOU. I love you SO much. No one but me and you know how our friendship started...how its kept strong...or any of that and i know it was only because of God that we are friends. He crossed our paths for a reason, no doubt.

    YOUR SMILE....
    I have NEVER doubted your smile. You have such a contagious personality i can feel ur smile even when its not there. We've had SOO many laughs..i KNOW it still exists :) "I believe in the sun, even when its not shining"...and I believe in ur smile even if its not broadcasted across ur face 24/7.

    Remember that "serious/important" convo we had yesterday?...yeah, you better believe it babe. GOD has brought you to where you are for a specific reason and He has some AMAZING plans for your life...you just dont even know girl :) Stay strong..LIVE that life and all your troubles and fears will be masked by His blessings. I WISH words could explain to you how much I love you but, they dont. I will **ALWAYS** be here for you and no hater will ever get through me to mess with you. PSH! you ARE me so no duh i aint gone let anyone mess wiff me! :P

    I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK 800,000,000 TIMES MILEY!!!!!

    Cory <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. i typically never comment on other people's blogs. they are very much a personal part of a person that they have chosen to share with the world. but this post of yours has touched me in a way that i have not yet began to understand. i suppose it was because it has encouraged me a great deal today. i wanted to let you know this and that you have a wonderfully blessed day! i also wanted to leave you this quote that one of my beautiful friends wrote to me one day in a message and it reminded me of your blog. Embrace the gift of life and don't waste a second worrying about the people who critcize you, because after all they are the ones who are too scared to fully embrace the gift that they too were given.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Miley...I have been going through a hard time lately, there has been lots and lots funks...but reading your blog really put a smile on my face...cause no matter how people try to slam you down they can't...I love it...I best thing I ever heard was you can't control other people you can only control yourself...so you really can't stop the haters and the antimileys but you can control how you deal with them...You are amazing and thank you so much for reminding me that its ok to be selfish sometimes, I should care about me cause I can't change others...thanks for the smile, looking forward to more blogs...

    Renee'

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are an extremely in touch and smart girl miley. And i think God has called you to this life for a reason
    Its a great thing you are a strong christian you can help lead people to God. Just by showing them ou reactions to people, you do it in a Godly way.

    You are truly amazing and talented in so many ways. Your life most definitely has an great meaning.

    Keep on the right track.
    <3
    You have many many great supporters all over, focuse on them, not the haters.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Miley girl,
    I love you so so much and to know that you're happy makes me soo happy! i look up to you in so many ways! but I cant even imagine living your life. wow. what a rollercoaster. of course you have days where everything is going perfectly...and then theres the days you feel like crap. People never realize that the mean things they say can really affect you--and that's really sad. After all, you're a human too. just like them.

    I can't say it enough how much I wish I could personally know u and be your friend. I bet that sounds kinda creepy and you hear it from fans a million times a day, but it's true. Our personalities are scary alike and we have the EXACT same humor. truly! It's the best when I get to see the fun loving, down to earth person you are on things like the Miley and Mandy Show because it shows a part of a person I know I would connect with in so many ways! Now I just wish u could see who I am!!! lol Anyways, I know that there's so much more to your wonderful self that fans can't see, but just know that I would always be there for u if you ever needed another friend. Everyone needs more friends in their lives....it's so rough out there!

    Well...I guess I started out this post with the feeling that you deserve all the happiness in the world because you are an amazing person!! Whether you're 16 years old, or 17 like me, life can be a bitch a lot of the time. What's always assuring is that there are so many people who love us (most importantly God) and we are never alone when times get tough! I love love love you MILEY!!!
    xoxoxo,
    Paige

    p.s., in this blog when you stated the friends you were thankful for, and someone named Paige was on the list, my heart dropped. I WISH IT WAS ME!! HA! <3

    oh and also, I went to your concerts in September in Oakland and San Jose and you were so amazing and looked so alive! I'm so glad that everyday you get to do what you love and what makes you SMILE! btw, if you remember, one of the girls at your oakland soundcheck who was wearing a "It's like a tanktop" shirt is my sister! We're all obsessed! lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hey Miley! Well, you did it again. You managed to touch us with another blog (so happy to see it, btw!)as only you can do. But this one has a different tone from all your previous. You are free - I can feel it. I can only imagine the troubles and woes of the pain and upset you've had to endure being Miley Cyrus and having had the rough patch you had in 2007 on - but maybe in hindsight, you will see (already are seeing) that perhaps God is "growing" you Miley. He's putting some stuff in front of you to show you "how it's done" - and I believe you are understanding his lesson and will soon have a knowledge and wisdom that only going through the fire can bring. Because you *are* imperfect, you are moldable and shapable by Him - because you *are* tested, you are made stronger. Be happy in that - I believe not everyone is made to take all tests - some are weak - but I think God knows you and knows your strength - and He will use you to His glory Miley.

    I loved your message, and your song of happiness does touch my heart - the fact that you are even willing to communicate this, much less acknowledge your happiness is commendable! Your words of overcoming the haters and naysayers are fightin words - words that so many need to hear and apply. I, for one tonight, feel defeated, rejected, and disrespected by some of my friends. Won't bore you with the details of a mom's personal woes, but just know that it doesn't seem to get any easier for us adults either. Hate is never easy - for anyone or in any form. Isn't hate awful, Miley? But hearing your determination to overcome, your uplifting words of victory over evil, if you will, is very reassuring - whether coming from an (almost) 17-yr old or otherwise ( albeit, a very mature almost 17-yr-old!).

    So, I say, like many others on here, thank you Miley Cyrus. At the end of this day, you can certainly lay your head down on your pillow and say you have done well today. I'm so happy for you and your happiness Miley. That's all that really matters in this life really, and loving our God and best we can, everyone else.

    Take it easy and have a great night. Once again, thank you so much for sharing with us. You are great.

    Gina (Ginachick)

    ReplyDelete
  10. you made me cry, Miles.
    that was an awesome speech right there, (and a great quote too, I'll use that!).

    you made me think back about the OLD me.
    yeah I miss being the old me too.
    but I'm also glad where I am now,
    what I've chose instead of the past.

    its all coming back now.
    "Life is GREAT when you stop looking back and keep your eyes on whats in front of you", that personally came from me.

    I've lost a great bestfriend back in 2006 when I switched school, at first I regret it.
    but now, I'm glad I've switched school.
    I met better friends here. and my life at school always put a BIG SMILE on my face.

    all im saying is, just love the way you are, Miles. cause I've always had. never change.

    mwahhhss. peace out, girl :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. miley.
    i wrote my phenomenal women drama coursework on you, and no matter what the dude marking it thinks...i know it was all true.
    thank you. your quotes and advice. they have all helped me...in more ways than one. you have made me believe in myself again...i don't need guys or attention to be happy, i need my friends, family and faith. thank you so much.
    and i'll keep rootin for you in 10 years...
    love, gina
    we made a blog about boarding school life at school. please check it out.
    www.boardingschoolsbestfriend.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi, Miley!

    I love this blog. It truly inspires me (and this is not just something I'm saying - I started blogging again just because I read what you wrote), and it makes me realize that you're a normal girl, just like everyone else, but with different surroundings. And I mean I really realized, really pictured it.

    And I recognize so many of your feelings. Especially in this post, because right now I am so happy with my life, even though it's not perfect and I'm not perfect. But God has made the world such a beautiful place to live, and I see it in my friends when they smile or in the sun when it rises. And I love it.

    Thank you :)

    Love from Norway.

    ReplyDelete
  13. hey :)

    this post made me smile so much !! haha
    as it remindined me of something that happened to me ... anyway , instead of going to gossip sites go to fan sites there are millions !! they wont hurt you,

    a while ago i was annoyed with someone and i had the worst day ever evrything went wrong, when i was walking home it was sunny (for once in england no clouds :O)smiling and there was no reason to it but its the best feeling i have ever had !!

    thanks for reminding me :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. hey :)

    this post made me smile so much !! haha
    as it remindined me of something that happened to me ... anyway , instead of going to gossip sites go to fan sites there are millions !! they wont hurt you,

    a while ago i was annoyed with someone and i had the worst day ever evrything went wrong, when i was walking home it was sunny (for once in england no clouds :O)and for no readon i started smiling and there was no reason to it but its the best feeling i have ever had !!

    thanks for reminding me :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. So sorry that your blog has been published on Oceanup.com
    Check it out. I'm not lying.

    But you're glad that there are so many people who don't believe that it's you.
    So it seems untrue to them and NO ONE will get here. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. miley~
    I had THE BEST dream last night! you and ashley (the heart of miley) came looking for me after you read my previous comment on this blog! We all met and i never was so happy!! then we started texting and became BFFs!!! the end.
    HAHA Dang why do dreams have to end when we wake up? :( I woke up smiling just because I was thinking about being friends with you!
    xoxoxo,
    Paige

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow, this really inspired me, Miley.
    I'm so much happy for you.

    Keep smiling !
    We'll be always here for supporting you, whatever happens.

    GOD bless you !

    I love you ! <3
    xo

    Driiicka =]

    ReplyDelete
  18. Such a great blog....Be yourself, but live for GOD.....trust in Him & He will make your paths straight......

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Miley

    Im very happy for you and it was such an inspiring blog. You really do have a lot more to offer.

    It was sad to hear about your blog being stolen and passed onto some media vulture and as you said it maybe some facebook user and well I came across this one http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000123267278 and noticed they have been posting your blogs on their site...

    It is very sad that people have to impersonate you as they obviously dont know what harm they are doing.

    Like you said in your blog dont take anything seriously and live your life :)

    Peace out
    Mike

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is very inspiring Miley. You are a beautiful poet. You know Jesus said "The foxes have there burrowing holes and the fowel of the air have there nesting places, but the son of man has nowhere to even lay his head." Everywhere Jesus went people followed him constantly tring to entrap him. This was a burdin for Jesus, but Jesus lived for the Lord. I know sometimes you feel just like Jesus felt,and I have much compassion for you friend but it seems you are on the right path beautiful. People that say mean and hurtful things only say them because they are hurting inside themsleves. HURTING PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. No matter how many people try to hate on you Jesus loves you and I love you. Have a wonderful day beautiful.

    Sincerly Your fan, Casey.

    ReplyDelete
  21. miles. you're basically like the younger sister i always wanted. and i hurt when you hurt. mostly because there's nothing i can really do to help. but i love the crap outta you, ex-neighbor. keep kicking it with all the right people.

    ReplyDelete
  22. p.s. - i got the 'my smile never left me...it's just hiding' thing. haha 'mismile' never left...it's just you in hiding :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I LOVE YOU MILEY, REMEMBER THAT THE PPL WHO MATTER WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, THAT'S WHY THEY MATTER.
    KEEP SMILIN' THAT'S WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT, AND I'M GLAD U REALIZED HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO BE HAPPY AND THAT U DECIEDED TO LIVE FOR YOURSELF.
    LOVE, VL <3

    ReplyDelete

Followers

About Me

My photo
I am experiencing new things, I am learning new lessons, I am living my life.